When emotion is high, the brain is dead

So in an effort to keep up with this blog like I said I would, I'm going to throw in some posts here that don't necessarily have to do with my 30 day blog challenge (which I have obviously already failed).

Without going into too much detail about my life the past few days I have realized that I am the type of person who falls in love with the idea of love, and whenever someone I like comes along, I imagine what it would be like to be in love with that person, and I put together this picturesque scenario that I fall in love with (rather than falling in love with the person themselves). Therefore, when things don't work out, at times it can feel like I've just lost someone very important to me, rather than someone I've only spent a month shamelessly flirting with (this latter part more in reference to my most recent crush..or "crash"). It can be hard to remember not to be selfish when it comes to relationships, and that if there is a reason some situation did not work out, then it was probably for the best. It is difficult not to be mad and point the blame at the other person despite their honesty and the fact that really, they did nothing wrong. In essence, growing up itself is hard I suppose. Doing things like blaming someone else for something they didn't really do because you got hurt is extremely childish, and seeing as how I am far from a child I refuse to act like one in that sense.

After discussing this with my best friend today (more in depth with what really happened) the best text I got from her was: "Well, you're a highly intelligent girl, Em, just keep your head where it needs to be and honestly just try not to let yourself stay attached to him." For some reason this really hit me, mostly because I do a lot of letting my heart take over what my head is telling me not to do and I end up in situations like the one I am now-disappointed and sad. At what point did I decide that it was fair to not listen to the most logical part of myself which was clearly telling me that I should not get involved? The heart, as much as I adore all the cliche sayings about it, can also be dangerous and something to steer clear from if your head is sending you warning signals.

This was really more ramblings than anything else, just a way for me to get it out of my system so I'm sorry my readers (though far and few between) if it seems confusing or disoriented. My mind is racing faster than my keys can type it seems!

I will leave you with this wise bit of information (also in regards to my last post "Your First Love": eat chocolate, forget love! Not really of course :)

Day 3: Your first love

Well, so much for being able to stick with writing everyday...I guess that's what trying to deal with the stress of work and finals will do to you. Nevertheless, I am back!

My first love...this is almost a loaded post so I decided to have fun with it and not go into the troubled past of the first "person" I fell in love with....



Chocolate. My first real "love" for something-besides all the usual things you love as a child i.e. Beauty and the Beast and my teddy bear that I never let out of my sight. I don't remember the first time I had chocolate, but I'm sure it was an instant attraction considering I still have cravings for it at least once a day. I mean really, how could you not? Do you see how delicious those little chocolate candies look? It almost makes me wish I could reach through the computer and have them right now...sort of. It's still fairly early so breakfast food sounds a little more delicious than chocolate right now.

Here are just a few examples of why chocolate is not only fantastic but why it deserves credit as my first love:

"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate." - Katherine Hepburn

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." - Charles M. Schulz

"Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing." - Milton Snavely Hershey

"Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good." - Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet

So, there's just a little insight to one of my not-so-secret desires and guilty pleasures. I think chocolate will serve me forever as a good replacement for my first love!

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

What's the meaning behind my blog name? That's a very good question. It can be taken in so many different contexts I wouldn't even know where to begin to explain it...but I'll try.

Finding Euphoria is what I have declared to be my new life mantra. The older I get the easier it is to see the important things in life, like my family and my friends who mean the world to me. At the end of the day the fact that I have to go buy new mascara doesn't matter as much as whether or not I have talked to my parents today and told them I love them. I used to take so many things and people for granted when I was younger, and it took me up until the past few years to realize that. By finding euphoria I want to be able to cherish each moment I spend with a loved one as much as possible, because if not, then I would just be wasting my time. I miss my family and friends whenever I am not around them, especially my parents. I miss them all the time.

Finding Euphoria also relates to what I want to do with my life. For years all I have ever wanted was to be a prosecuting attorney so I could help people or to become a journalist and travel throughout the Middle East and Europe. Technically both of those are still careers I want to pursue, but at what cost? I want to be a mother someday, more than anything and the thought of having to sacrifice spending time with my family for a job is not something I would be willing to do. This is also not to say that I couldn't take the appropriate time off, I suppose I can really do anything I want to. Although the whole thought of having a family and having an actual career other than school or my part-time jobs gives me a bit of a panic attack.

Finding Euphoria applies to being able to find happiness in a partner. It seems that I have the worst luck picking specimens from the male gender to be in my life, and it always ends up backfiring on me. At first thought I am prone to saying that I don't believe in love, and I can't picture being so in love with someone that I would make the decision to marry them. But then I look at my parents, who have been happily married for 23 years and they are just as in love as they were from the start. The majority of my friends have parents who are either separated or whose parents are not as happy as they once were in their marriage, so I am thankful that I was chosen to be my parent's daughter and see what it is really like to love someone. My Dad says all the time that men my age don't know the proper way to treat a woman, they have no drive for anything anymore and I couldn't agree more. Whenever this topic comes to my mind I say a silent prayer that I will be blessed with someone like my Dad when I am ready to find The One and settle down.

This was really just a bunch of ramblings, as most of my thoughts and posts are but it was the best I could do to break down the meaning of my blog name. I hope that helps to give some insight into my life a little more!

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

Well, I guess the first thing I should do to introduce myself is tell (whoever) that my name is Emma, and I'm a student at the Ohio State University trying to complete my major in Journalism and my minor in Political Science. Going to law school or NYC to write are the dreams for the future so we'll see if I can make it there before stress kills me. Haha. I'll let my 15 interesting facts give a little more insight into my life.

1. I have two double jointed fingers, and only two

2. I actually have coulrophobia (which is a phobia of clowns), I don't just think they're weird to look at

3. I rarely eat healthy

4. I would love to own a restaurant or a deli

5. I cannot wait to be a wife and mother, even if I don't want it to happen for at least 5-10 more years

6. I am never happier than I am during the summer and Christmas

7. I am relearning what it's like to be on my own, and it's a struggle

8. I have two older brothers, and know nothing about them even though they are a part of my life

9. I can rarely keep my mind focused on just one thing at one time

10. I still believe in falling in love and falling hard, even if I tell people I don't. It's what occupies a good chunk of my thoughts throughout the day

11. I consider at least once a day picking up and driving to NYC or Chicago

12. I fear where going to law school may take me simply because I don't want to be too far away from my parents

13. I cannot hold my back laughter or my facial expressions ever. No exceptions. I just can't do it.

14. I'm allergic to eel

15. I bite my cheeks when I'm nervous and I don't see myself being able to break that habit anytime soon